Thinking back on the tender mercies once again. I'm incredibly THANKFUL! This past few months I have recognized that those tender mercies have given me a little intuition/nudging from heaven? And what happens when I don't feel a nudging and bad things happen. I reflect back to several incidents in our lives/children's life when we have really had no warning. We are here on earth to learn and experience and grow until Our mission in life is complete. And I'm holding on to that belief. It's all in God's hands. I've had nudging and then I have had no thought for what would happen. Such is these past few day's. Yes, little things are a BIG deal when your life is already fragile.
For example:
I blogged a little of it. Here's the story. One morning in March Mr. Clark didn't wake up at his normal early hour. I think he had been going at both ends (sick) the night before. This morning, He didn't wake up to call into work and I really couldn't wake him up. I checked his blood sugar. It was fine. I was a little frustrated with him, actually pretty mad at him!! (reasons that were legitimate before he got sick ie: we are human!) Never the less always love this guy and always SOoooooo worried, so I called into my work and took the day off, and I called his work. Thinking I would call the Dr. as soon as they opened. Which I did. We are on the 'priority' phone list (special hu!) so the receptionist told me she would have the nurse call me. Mr. Clark continued sleeping. I did some laundry, straightened through the house with thoughts in my mind racing back and forth. Should I be concerned? Should I let him sleep? Sleep seemed to be what anyone with flu like conditions would do??? Then while scouring the kitchen I felt this nudge. Kinda like a push/shove in the back. and a PROMPT message. Call the Dr. NOW! And since I was waiting for the nurse to call me, I called our nephrologyst. His nurse answered. I said, "Mr. Clark is being unresponsive. He is sleeping very sound, should I get him to E.R?" The nurse said, "the doctor is actually standing right here, let me ask him" --(now I recognize that as a tender mercy!!!) He said, take him to admitting at the hospital I will put in the orders right now. So I woke him up, *sorta had to get firm with him to get him dressed. Somehow (pretty sure ten angels helped me) I got him in the truck and arrived in the admitting. It was pretty hard just getting him in the hospital let alone through admitting. I still visualize it in my mind and it scares me! I'm giving the admitting our info and he's just laying limp in a chair. We get him to his room and they begin checking him out. His oxygen appears low, so they put him on air and he perks up a bit. We are talking casually with the nurse. "ya, probably just the flu, it's going around" and he's in good hands, so I go get lunch. A late lunch after all of this. I think it was about 4:00. When I come back the nurse(S) are whisking him off to the I.C.U telling me his oxygen is at 60 %. It's low, very low. She tells me I did the right thing by getting him to the hospital when I did, "He would not have lived through the night" Just a testament that it is NOT Mr. Clark's time to leave this earth. And he would have left me when I was angry at him. I guess God knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself!! A tender mercy indeed!
So you can see my concern with the little things such as 'it may be the flu.' On this 4th of July.
When Mr. Clark woke me up coughing, throwing up, unresponsive, sugar off the charts. I'm in a panic. What should I do. Do I take him to ER. (it's a holiday) I prayed. --nothing. -- yes, I checked his oxygen level, its fine, I check his temperature, its fine. (for a kidney failure person a fever is and immediate trip to the hospital!!! So I'm going back and forth. "Heavenly Father", I plead. "I need help here???" Nothing!! I'm about crazy. "I feel so RESPONSIBLE for the decisions regarding my husbands life. PLEASE!!!!!" Then, Just a *calm feeling and then I question the calm feeling... "Are you sure??" Who does that??? What if I'm not doing the best for him?? then... calm feeling. But what if ...??? I'm concerned because I could once again be making a wrong decision. I am putting it in Gods hands. Evening falls, I text our kids and say, "I'm scared and please pray for Dad." I can't even get him awake -after all day of sleeping to walk into the dialysis room to let me get him hooked up. And then.... After I finish talking to the kids, he just pops up and is able to dialyze. (a tender mercy/answered prayers. )
July 5: Mr. Clark is sleeping, when he attempts to move he is nauseated and is throwing up. Is it the FLU????? ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Just for peace of mind I decide to try to get Mr. Clark to the doctor.
His health is much too complicated and compromised to guess. So I plead with Mr. Clark to see a doctor before the weekend. Maybe just a nausea med??? anything to help. I'm so worried. And he finally agrees. **And the Doctor is guessing the flu. Today, he isn't sleeping, he stills feels bad. He is still nauseated, he is still very weak and guess what he is doing????? Mowing the lawn.... He just pushes himself. And As his care taker, I'll just keep Praying. Praying.... I continue to get answers to my prayers!!! :) and more nudges from Heaven.
1 month ago
